being mI isn't that easy
||SaNdy||
||22 this year||
||currently at home wasting my dearest mummy's money ||
||17 nov 1986||
||scorpio||
i aDoRe
||myself|| . ||him|| .
||dad|| . ||mum|| .
||one N onli baby brother|| .
||all mah frenz & lover-s|| .
||cats|| . ||dogs|| .
||SHOPPING|| . ||sleeping|| .
||horror movies|| . ||engllish songs|| .
||white colour|| .
||all sort of food|| . ||bubble tea from sweet talk|| .
i HATEs
||cocaroaches|| .
||total darkness|| . ||isolation|| .
||hypocrites|| . ||lies (all sort)|| .
||fattening foods ||
||her|| . ||them|| .
my WISH-es
||his love|| .
||new laptop|| .
||new hp|| .
||lesser nagging from my mum|| .
||sony digital camera|| .
||APPLE i-pod nano|| .
||a new jacket|| .
28 July 2005
lolx.... I have been noticing this guy at the bus stop for sometime already...at first i thot he look like my fren... but obiviously he is not my fren lah... (duh !) Juz as i thot he is from RP... i saw him ytd at canteen... haha... He seem to be from year3... Quite mature looking too... hmmm??
M i interested in him ? no... lolx... he is juz a guy i come across at the bus stop every morning... hehe...
Why today lesson soo boring? today, i'm unmotivated..iyo... help mi lah... i wanna go home liao... errr... headache too...
i need my motivation... i need him... his laptop under repair... errr... long time din chat wif him wor... keke... i miz him... my dar dar... keke.. wanna knoe how he look like ? see my friendster... sooo cute... i heart him... i love him... i miz him... hee...
k lah... nth to write already... gonna stop liao... take care ya all... heart u...
somthing called Faith @ 12:00 AM
26 July 2005
Wow... today, i pon klass sia... haha... too tired from work den yesterdae slept at 3 30 AM... today can't wake up...(obviously)... dee called mi early in the morning to ask mi pon sch... wat a nice timing... keke... anyway, i still feel so sleepy sia... time flied so fast... now i'm in RP for almost 4 months... feel like yesterdae since my 1st day in sch... I was so scare and timid when school started... so kua su during that time... hee...scare of new enviroment and stuff... lolx... but now it's different... feel very happy 2 met such a wonderful classmates... heart ya all...
piggie... almost 3 months already...heee... i kne and can confirm wif ya that my feelings 4 u has been unconditionally increasing... that i can asure u of... i love euu, piggie... muackx muackx... hope we will be ever lasting couple... keke... humph... see i got a blog 4 u leh... where's mine ??
somthing called Faith @ 6:20 AM
22 July 2005
i was sad... i'm not sure it's how i wanna feel but i felt it.. i feel guilty... i read his friendster and saw her testi... may b jealous ??? i'm not sure but i think i'm juz feeling insecure ba...
He is sick... overtired... haiz... he don feel veri good now a days... overstressed by his project... seem i can't help him with his things... i can onli give him my morale support... jia you dar dar... no matter wat i'll always b here 4 ya... i heart u... muackx...
i'm in veri bad mood... especially when today is basic science... and my UT is suck lor... haiz... now having stomachahe too... iyo... l8ter still need to go work... lol...
somthing called Faith @ 7:10 PM
19 July 2005
it's a pity to knoe how people changed... especially when we grew up and tried to live our own lives... some of us are scare of such changes... i'm one of them, i muz confess... but, sometime its's juz good to let it go... that's wut i've been doing... letting go of my friendship (certain friendship)... Bcoz I knoe it's the time.... I hope I won't regret for doing this and hopefully people will understand why i'm doing it...
Sometime , i'm sooo fed up... Like yesterday, something happened which made mi realised some of the meaning in life (bitterness, shock, hate, love, unhappiness, tolerance) ... some of u may think i've gone crazy but if u were in my place, u would understand how i feel... I believe that there is always a fine line in all the relationships... once u cross over to the line and that's it...
Another thing, i need to tell all peeps whu gonna read my blog that i'm gonna put all my feelings and thoughts in this blog... So i hope u guys won't feel offended by what I wrote in here... anyway, this is my blog !!! so I won't care what other gonna think of mi...
somthing called Faith @ 7:15 PM
18 July 2005
i tot 2day i can 4get all my prob and try 2 start the week anew... but din expect this thing 2 happened... i'm sad and hurt... wut is happening man ?? ... now i'm having headache again... errrrrrrrr.....
dar... i need u .... i kne u got work but i reali wish u can spend ur time wif mi later... not reali feelin well leh...
i dunno wut 2 write... so fed up by everything around mi... including my study... i'm having headache and gonna have fever again... i'm juz sad tat no one understand mi not even my best frenz...
one last word; i treasure our friendship no matter wif whu but pls dun hurt mi... i'm not sure if i got hurt u guys in anyway... if even so i din mean it... hope u guys understand...
somthing called Faith @ 11:39 PM
14 July 2005
I'm feeling sick... having headache... omg... i am gonna sick... for sure... my whole body veri hot... i dun wanna come sch tml... i hate the teacher and her lesson is sooo boring... i wan my pay NOW so that i can buy hp... kekeke... still sick inside...
dear... u promised u would pull mi out of depression... still rmb ? ... hope u still rmb... i know sometime i am over panic but it's bcos i'm veri afraid of losing someone like u... u r one in a million, dear... i love u... muackx...
somthing called Faith @ 3:33 PM
13 July 2005
My dar pick up my call... he said he was sleeping... hope there's nothing between us that he wanna hide ba... I'm juz so happy... talk to him liao at least feel much better... keke... i think i've gone crazy already... hehe... i love u dar...
my class today soooo boring.... i wanna debate wif them... sob sob... y need 2 judge them instead of debating ? iyo... feel like sleeping soon...
somthing called Faith @ 10:16 PM
i realli feel lonely... Walking down this road alone... no one 2 be there 4 mi 2 hold... is it meant 2 be ? or is it made by me ? i'm not so sure... but i'm alone... sometime i wonder wut is the point of living this life ? i've found onli reason which is 2 be wif U... darling, i'm sorry if i ever made u feel angry, fustrated or even irritated... i din mean 2... Y r u not picking up my calls ? pls dun ignore mi like wut u r doing now... i can't take it... :(
I'm having fever... wif running nose... so tired... feel veri weak leh...haiz... now having headache too... veri cold in the class... my hands r cold... my heart is cold... my whole world seem cold.... i wanna cry.... i'm crying inside... i reali can't take it anymore... i dunno wut else to say... errrrr.....
somthing called Faith @ 7:25 PM
Is it something i did or something u said that made mi feel this way ? Feel alone inside... Something missing there... But can't seem to figure it out...Take mi to a place where blind men see... lolx... I think I'm under depression but there's no valid reason for it... I'm scare as days passed by as i fall deeper for HIM... I dun wan my fairy tale to end...
I received an e-mail from Filamin... I'm sorry but i can't do anything 2 unbreak ur heart... may be we can be fren one day... but for now, it's better for us 2 stay far away...
I miz my mum... I love her very much... She is the onli 1 in the world tat whu understand mi the best... Would i be able 2 give her the best in the future ?? I hope so ba... Love u mum...
somthing called Faith @ 1:28 AM
12 July 2005
I thnk I'm happy ;
but I'm not.
I think I'm lonely;
but I'm not.
I think I'm content;
but I'm not.
I think I'm strong;
but I'm not.
somthing called Faith @ 12:59 AM
09 July 2005
haiz.... today basic science... veri boring... the UT seem easy but i'm not sure whether i did well anot... today same group as tat stupid guy again... lolx... reali slacker... juz realised tat i n zhen fen took same bus 2 sch every morning!! omg... reali cant stand him... oh, today esther's birthday... Happy Birthday, Esther...
now , i'm on msn wif my dar dar... but he seem busy... lolx... may b playing game ba... still waiting for his reply... lolx... saturday he will gonna work full shift liao... at least i won't feel alone liao lorx...
feel sick... i wanna go hme rest... having serious headache.... i'm not a slacker hor!!! yong quan dun anyhow say lah... so angry leh...
somthing called Faith @ 4:22 AM
08 July 2005
Wut the fark... our group was downgraded because of the stupid ZhenFen last week and this week he is doing it again... i really cant stand it anymore... it's not fair!! why do we deserve all this when my group member work so hard 4 it ?? really can't stand it anymore... pls, somebody help mi... my anger will gonna explose 1 day... it will not b so nice when it's happen... wanna cry... i dun wanna group wif him anymore... do i stand a chance... i'm so fark up today...
somthing called Faith @ 7:10 AM
07 July 2005
yeah... finally watched initial D liao wor... it's super good except for the ending part... which i dun seem 2 understand... lolx... today communication lesson... relax too much in class... kinda feel bad... this morning we had UT (science)... can't make it... veri hard and dun seem 2 understand the ques...
iyo... my stupid hp! ! can't receive imcoming calls liao... dunno how 2 contact my dar... miz him... hee... my pay gonna spend on my ph bill... hmmm... i've 2 control already... the 6 years plan... heex...
anw, last tuesday when i was on my way home i saw peizhi... at 1st she kinda act werid in front of mi but we turn out 2 chat normal when she asked mi about deivani(my the other best fren) birthdae... i bought a shirt 4 her... $19.90... keke... now i'm left wif nothing 2 spend... but it's ok ba... all the worse i'll not eat anything till i got my pay...lolx...
somthing called Faith @ 6:00 AM
05 July 2005
lolx... it's onli weekend yet lots of things happened... sorry 2 hear ur story , ashz... ytd, nth special 4 mi... juz usual stuff... go work in d afternoon till nite...10 hr leh... quite tired... emotionally unstable...
ytd nite, smethg happened between mi n my dar... nt consider a big thing but the atmosphere tat time was veri tense... i cried thinking tat i & him gonna end at tat nite... feel so confused... dunno wut 2 think now... but i was so scared ytd... tot i'm gonna lose him... i'm scare our small communication break down will lead 2 break up... i'm scare dear... may b i'm tat type of person whu get insecure veri easily ba... hmmm... i promised him i won't think too much...but i'm scare 2 get hurt...
dar...u like the shirt and slipper ? i like mine... keke... lolx... i will save money 4 wut we discussed abot ytd nite... keke... u too muz hor...
friday, after sch i saw peizhi at bus stop... same pattern...on the bus she din come 2 my seat 2 sit... when i'm about 2 alight i try 2 look at her 2 say bye but she pretend to be busy...haiz... sometime tired of trying 2 understand ppl... y they treat u those hurtful ways and u can't juz bear 2 treat them the same way they treat u...
somthing called Faith @ 1:10 AM
04 July 2005
I went out wif my dar dar 2day... he was so tired but still followed mi... not bad wah... lolx...I've fallen in luv wif him as days passed by...it scare mi... Wut if I were 2 break my heart 1 day ? I'm sure wont b able 2 take it...now I feel so alone inside... may b mood swing ba... juz talked 2 him over d ph... he's on msn... seem quite distracted by it so I juz told him I'm gonna sleep... but dun think I will b sleepping liao lahx... kinda mood down... all d more now listening 2 Bardot (Love me no more)... affect my mood in d way...I've been thinking will he leave mi 1 day ? I tried my veri best 2 give our relationship 2 d fullest... but will he get sick of mi 1 day ? I believe tat every story has the ending... how will our story end ?
Y my family seem 2 ve lots n lots of prob ? I'm sick of pretending 2 b a responsible n mature daughter... let mi ve some freedom 2 do stuffs tat any normal teenager do...allow mi stay overnight or watch midnight movie... y muz mi b the who is handling all the problems ? juz bcos I'm the eldest ? white hairs on my head keep growing... haha... shh...dun let ppl kne ah...
somthing called Faith @ 12:30 AM
02 July 2005
Stupid teacher… dunno how 2 teach science den still teach… somemore attitude problem… shit her lah… wut d heck… if she still give mi C, I confirm go complain liao… Nv do also not happy, do her work also not happy… better change teacher lah… bloody ass so good do her work liao den still show mi this pattern… no wonder nobody like her…
somthing called Faith @ 7:26 AM
yeah !! so happy today... whole world seem so beautiful...(except for science)... Y muz we learn science lah ?! bored mi to death... lolx... other den this the rest ok ba... finally weekends liao... cant wait 2 rest sia... cant seem 2 cope wif sch n work... need motivation...
later need 2 go work liao... finally can c him & it's pay day! tml mi going out wif him... can finally dun use his money if not always use feel so bad... :( wanna buy alot of things sia... pants,bag,slipper,shirt & hp ... dunno if use enough anot.. keke... seem like lots of things 2 buy wif little money... lolx...
i'm enjoying my life in RP... better den sec or even pri sch... keke... even peizhi , 1 of my best frenz, trying 2 ignore mi... wut d fuck! reali lor... so wut if she dun get the limelight like she used 2 during sec sch days ? sometime i wonder is porpularities more important den frenz ? she backstabbed mi!! juz bcoz i bcome 2 get more attention by most of d ppl den she is... i veri confused... is it consider a real friendship ? i still consider her as a fren though...
dear... happy 2 month 2 u too... muackx... u cant blame mi 4 thinking too much mah dear... i dun wanna lose u... tat's y... if sometime i over reacted to certain things den sry dear... looking forward to celebrate wif u more anniversary in the future... k? i luv u... ^_^)
somthing called Faith @ 5:05 AM
01 July 2005
wah... hope today i wont fall aslp in class...too tired...but luckily esther is in my group...i can relax abit...
tml, our anniversary wor...so fast 2 mths liao leh...quite surprising...keke...seem like ytd i known him...but our feelings towards each other seem like we been together veri long liao...dear, i would like 2 take this opportunities 2 tks u 4 being wif mi...i love u n will always stay by urself thruu thick n thin...
sometime my dar veri cute leh...cos of Filamin he will get jealous...but sometime veri bad leh ! will ignore mi one when he mood swing...Whenever i try 2 do something nice i will in the end hurt him...i feel tat his frenz came 1st den mi...sometime it reali hurt...he said i don tell him the whole story about my previous relationships but i reali did tell him...nth special 2 tell wah...also sometime i would feel so sad n moody if his ex subject is brought up...haiz...tat time he asked her about the necklace tat HE bought 4 her...he even mention tat he was so xin ku juz 2 buy 4 her tat leh... reali lor...wut u expect mi 2 react ? but i act like nth happened lah...but it hurt lorx...
Life suck! wut's the point of Filamin(my ex) asking mi back when he kne i dun ve feelings 4 him anymore? M i being cruel ? M i heartless ? Y muz every1 trying 2 make mi feel like it's my fault? it's not ! i told him even b4 the prob start tat once it's over my limit tat's it! N he kept pushing mi over my limit and now he ask mi back! lolx...All i can say i'm sry... I don love u anymore...
somthing called Faith @ 6:47 AM