28 February 2006
Typically guys , they juz dun get what we girls wan in the relationship... Found a few dumbass who reali dunno how to treasure their loved ones and once they gf went away they started to regret n blame the other party... *shake head* 98% of the break-ups were initiatd by girls but guys dun reali understand the real reason behind it n they will rather put blames here n there... N why do I even blogging this ? *rolling eyes
went to H.C hse again... why m i going his hse 24/7 ? have no idea... sometime juz being beside him make mi feel so secure yet sometime it cant b reali painful especailly when he's playing game... haix =(
my 2nd post of the day... can imagine how bored i might be rite ? hahahaha
Ytd, I was toking to Yoke Siang on msn about one of my poly classmate's problem... Imagine toking to ur secondary fren on poly frenz... But he got listen to wat I wanna say so it was FUN... it is not tht bad bah... Den we conclude on one thingy, my poly fren and her bf r childish on handling their relationship...Haix
This morning, I was on the bus no. 106 n suddenly there is this Ang Moh came to stand beside mi n I realized smth from it... I M SMALL!! he is so tall and my head is under his armpit there... *bleah =) while crossing past ghim moh I saw dev waiting for bus!! But she din see mi larh...
nth much ba... update ltr =)
26 February 2006
ytd nite while i was online doing my blog thingy, Kuan Meng msn mi... asking mi to intro some of my frenz 4 him... but seriously who should i intro him to ? he's been asking mi to do that since last semester n i was like keep saying later can... not tht im jealous or anything but more cos i dun care.... hahah... ok, he was one of my ex though... no feeling for him or whatever anymore, yah [finally...] hahah... so there i was "encouraged" to intro him to one of my female fren... so as i did what i promised him to which is getting to knoe my fren... so they tok wif mi inside their conversation page [they say they'll feel werid to tok alone so ya, there i was being "x-tra"] ... blah blah blah ... after which he was like open a new conversation window n ask mi this super WERID qns lar... he ask mi to PATCH BACK !!! den he start saying how our break up hurt him n stuffs... [hell wif it... i cant seem to trust him again although he "promise" he will change n shit..] kinda sad thinking about the past... =( but i rejected him though considering the fact that i DO NOT have feelings [or at least those intimate feelings] for him anymore... n plus i already have my bf...den he was like "nvm, it's ok... but i wun give up"
nyp "sex" video... yah, watched tht... n wat's wif ppl making big fuss over it ? i mean come on lar, it is juz like normal "blue" flim... n worse of all u can't realli able to see clearly of the girl face... wat the hell *roll eyes*
nth much ba... same old boring school days again... but gonna have my break so0n!!! loving it =)
(@_~)
25 February 2006
well... the bet wif joel was off due to my absent from school on last thurs... my jacket is gone now... T_T
created a blog for mi n H.C... n also onli i and him will b able to knoe the blog add... =p went to his hse today... yah i knoe it's like [yet again]... hahah... but still not so perfect yet though... still under construction... wait till he free den do together ba... heh... too lazy to do alone also... *bleh
nth much for today nor these a few days ba... onli one thing 4 sure which is im soooo bored now adays... keke...
late 4 school !!!
22 February 2006
>went for an interview for the new job ytd at hougang... damn far i tell u... but if can they will put mi in town area ba... the male boss look so pervert in my eye... gosh... quite relaxing job i might say... no worry ,no stress on the sales... juz stand there [if no customers u can sit as well] and serves customers... *grin
>woke up late this morning which was like 7:30... tot of not going to school but got UT today...n i cant skip more lessons liao nor... Joel made mi promised that i wont skip anymore lesson onli THEN he'll continue with our bet... DOTS ... so left no choice but i needa come school this 2 week... (~_@)
>took taxi here which cost $7.30 in total [damn..]
love this pharse
"my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with"
torn.hurt.upset.pissed
* counting everydays that goes by... every tears that i cried... * i tried to cried on my way home juz now... [which was from hougang-clementi] ... but no tears came down... i knoe that feeling... this's the 2nd time tht i have this feeling... (T_T) * when there r no more words to discribe ur feelings tears r the best proof of it... * H.C din came down to hougang as he promised he would today... i trusted his words AGAIN... i knoe he hasn't been having enuff rest recently so when he said he couldn't come down cos he's tired i tot *ok, yah nvm la... let him rest... * but when i was here worrying for him cos he said he's not feeling well , there he was outside at bball court! i reali felt SOOO stupid n kinda hate myself... i knoe he put mi at 2nd place compared to his friends but everytime i will try to reason myself... i reali do... but this time (@_@)
yah , Yoke Siang the friendship thingy can we dun talk about it ? i have no more emotions left in mi now to x-plain in detailed... shall find one day go down Ulu Pandan Bbll again arh... actually tml wan ask u guys go de... i tried to call peizhi but no answer... wat u wan mi do ? haix
yes bitch ?
21 February 2006
well, today im quite glad i made it to school... not so tiring nor stressful... heh...
wah, i've been freakingly listening to those myanmar songs juz recently... have no idea wat got into mi though... i find them quite entertaining enough... hahah... talked to my burmese frenz the other days... they were like asking mi to go back this april[which is new year in myanmar]... omg... how much i wish i can... but i dun think so tht it will gonna happen... T_T
went sentosa ytd... was fun out wif my BITCHES... hahah... took a few pic together... shall upload on friendster... muz check'em out when got time arh... *bleah
>.<
20 February 2006
im freakingly broke!!! hate this sh*t rite now... tml gonna go for a new job at hougang... quite far though... the boss was telling mi he'll shift mi to the town area later lorh... hope so [finger crossed..] ...
quite tired... ytd slept at 3 plus and this morning couldn't wake my ass up... hah... now adays i keep having calls from guys in army... i dunno who the heck giving out my no. n passing it around... got this guy he intro himself saying he's a amy driver... imagine the size he'll b in ? [not insulting though...] n there is this new guy who juz sms mi recently saying he juz wanted to know mi n i was like "R U FAT ?" hahah... no larh... im not interested in those kinda thingy... i've already told him "u can back off now cos im already attached..." n he was like "R U SURE ?" haix... yah, im dead sure my army fren ...
quite a normal day bah... din go school though... might b going out wif deez later... i feel like going for a tan! long time nv go le... but not as if my skin need any... hahah... dunno wat else to crap liao... buaiz (^_^)
If onLy u knoe...
16 February 2006
if only u can understand how i feel...
if only u bother to find out alittle about mi...
iF only juz a little bit u try...
I'll b content...
1. When this girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. When this girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
4. When this girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
5. This girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves.
6. When this girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
7.When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
8. This girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them.
9. When this girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention.
10. When this girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
11. When she says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that
12. When this girl says, "I'll love you forever", she means it.
13. Hearin e words "I love you" is a great reassurance 2 HER.
14.This Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
15. Never tell this girl that she is useless in any way.
16. Don't try to guess this girl's feelings. Ask her.
17. This girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
18. A simple 'Hi' can brighten her day.
19. This girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through
20. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to the girl, in that order.
i wanted to ask H.C out to bugis... but he rejected... m so sad rite now... hmmm... mayb i wun ask him out anywhere in the future le bahx... im juz so sick of going out wif others ppl when i got my bf to go out wif... but nvm le bahx... it doesn't matter anymore... sigh... i juz wanted to buy one handphone accessories den go back liao de... now i dun even have a mood to do anything...
on msn IF i nv come n find you, guys pls --->Do Not Disturb mI today<---
15 February 2006
im reali veri tired... having this headache bahx... yet im still outside wif my fren... now inside this stupid lan shop where all of them r playing CS n i end up blogging... suay !!! (@_@) even girls DO play CS... omg... unbelieveable !!!!! n this stupid kayboard ish so hard to type larh !!! damn...
today :
>went school rake my UT den came back hme due to tiredness
>went online onli to find myself kana pissed for no reason...
>jio my frenz out n sat at starbuck for 2 hour... heh
>n now i end up at the lan shop !
wat else should i crap ? mizzzzzzzzzz my H.C !!! haha... hey . it's true ok !
ok... for those of u who knoe mi well enough, should knoe tht in order for mi to link you is reali will take a few days or some mayb afew month to do tht... it is not tht i dun wanna link you though... juz tht sometime even when im able to update here i have a tendacy to forget to update my templates.. heh... for xample, peizhi gave mi her blog add since last yr august but onli this jan den i could link her... and as well as josephine and amelia... so do not x-pect to see ur link in my blog so soon guys... i kne i still needa link afew frenz yet i lost their blog add le... gonna have to ask from them again... and some of them r complaining lor... hahah...
the mood swing period!!! in a veri pissed mood... H.C msn mi juz now n i was so happy... but onli to find out tht he's playing game later... i tot he can acc mi chat awhile since i reali feel so alone... ok lorh... fine... i let him play game... PMS... i dunno wat's been bothering mi but it seem like i reali have no mood for anything... is it consider depression? [but y would i have it ? ] haix... update later bahx... when im in better mood ... (~_~)
my cookies for him... onli for him de... muhaha
14 February 2006
freshly from the OVEN... omg... taste so nice i tell u...
FINALLY, i would like to tks my mum for making mi so smart and so cute [heh..] and ash for all her help... w/o you i wun knoe how 2 survive through this... tks BITCH...
ok... ytd while we were out shopping wif my PJ gang, joel dared mi smth... he was like saying " if u can dun go shopping for one month I will buy for mi anything tt i wan..." hah ... n i was like "ok set !" hahah... im gonna get my jacket liao... muhahah.... i told him i wan addidas jacket n he was like CAN... hur hur hur... josephine was telling joel not to dare mi cos i reali will do de... den kian wai said joel's juz helping my mum save money tht i will spend which will b more den the jacket lorh... hahah... the point ish i reali accepted tht dare from joel... hahah
beautiful day isn't it ? i felt so alive when i stepped out of my hse this morning... Even when u see ppl on the street u can tell by their dressing whether r they or r they not have date later on... even in RP... i mean , yah for single this is yet another ordinary day but for us couples we treasure it more den anything else around...everyone has this small bag wif them... muz b their present bahx... i meade cookies for my darling and so far all the comments i got was nice and sweet... he haven tried yet and m so excited to see his reactions... muhahah
basic science... how can those module chairs put this module on Valentine's day ? get this... half of the class were absent for the lesson... i mean who wun... sickening man....
chinaBlack
10 February 2006
yesh !!!! i bought the couple ring liao... and we will b watching movie on tt day !!! omg omg... im loving my life once again... [so i hope..]
went his hse n end up sleeping while he's playing game.... [not surprising actually...] i was quite angry bahx... din wanna blow up the matter... after tt even when we reached orchard n he was like saying " im meeting my fren later leh dear... " den i was so shock n pissed larh... but i juz pretended tt it doesnt bother mi... i reali feel like going back when he said those words... haix
tks to dee... im going chinablack tonight... yes !!!! and finally im doing smth i wanted to... ok... shall enjoy my night there... update later... chao
cute uh... our baby shoe... (~_@)
im here aGain
09 February 2006
wow.... shopping spree today nia... i was wif joel, kian wai and josephine to went orchard to "so called" buy joel valentine day presents for his gf... and end up i m the one doing all the buying... i bought this silver wallet from ROXY... so nice i tell you... was on my wishlist but now it's 1 down, 10 to go... and also saw this bath towel which i find it so nice n i juz bought it... omg... believe it or not, i actually bought a bath towel for myslef!!!
oh well... i guess my standard of english had been decreasing since my O lvl bahx... sheeeh! ok fine... i will juz try to get it right again... *more story books pls...*
should smoke less... reason being 1) no more money left.. 2)muz save money for valentine date...
shall update soon... oh and tml im not going to school... as well as josephine , joel and kian wai... heard O lvl result coming out tml rite ? well, good luck to ya all... chaoz...
ytd, in the morning i was in the same bus as tt bitch larh... i din knoe she was there till when we alight at the bus stop near RP... she was like "SANDY !! got study for UT mah ? " *on tt day we were suppose to have UT* n i was like looked at her blindly n wif this irritated tone n replied "ya.." wanted to reply "is tt ur problem? or smth closer to tt.." i hate her like HELL man... she is sooo bloody think so highly of herself n a damn proud bitch too... i was so sick of seeing her face early in the morning n i was like keep thinking of a way to shake her off larh... den i saw my miracle... Michelle [ah jane aunty's daughter..] in front of mi... u have no idea how happy i was tt time... i quickly go front n talk to michelle even though tt bitch is talking to mi half way... i guess she was kana pissed bah as she quickly walked past us with her black face... and i was like telling michelle about tt bitch cos she also kinda dun like her as well... we were like talking n laughing talking about her... hahah... michelle got new bf already... tt's so fast lar... cant believe it...
talked to H.C ytd... he wasn't so happy when he saw those pic... i knew it... haix...so i needa x-plain everything over again... but luckily he understand the situation... [muackx] he said i seem changed ever since i came back from myanmar... hmmm ... have i ? nope... i m still mi but ya i changed the way i think on certain matters... im being mi again... my old self like last time... who i used to be... i speak my mind, i follow my heart... i used to care for other's feelings but i realised tt it onli made mi feel worse...
from now on, i will not care how other's would feel when i say smth on how i feel... like it or leave it... tt my 2006 resolution !
today , the stupid module making mi feel so sleepy n the worse point is i can't juz slack... jo is in my group and i cant juz let her do everything alone wah... *i'm juz so nice larh...* ok LAME... i wan GO hme... can....
okok... now presentation liao... chao
broken heart has no spare part
07 February 2006
so... this friendship thingy is over... yes, i said it... our 5-6 yrs of friendship thing is over juz like tht... yet i dun wanna blame/point fingers at anyone... oh well, was part of my fault... i m sensitive in a veri special way... u din knoe yet din bother to find out... read ur blog about us... n i would reali b lying to mysle fif i say i m not affected by it at all... but it was ur decision... n i respect tht... i hope u respect mine too... tht , the path tht i m gonna choose... i wun regret... i hope i wun... even if one day if i do, u will never knoe it from mi... like i told u, "i'm not telling u all this again cos i m feeling guilty... cos seriously till now i dun..." ... yea... part of it for letting THE stranger come n interfere wif our prob was my fault... i should have come into ur defence... but at that point of time wif that kind of unstable emotions no-one could say anything out of their mouth... could you ? *no offence here... if you happened to read this*
recap back on our journey of this friendship...
sec2 : knoe this two ah lian from my new class... everyday stay back after school wif them... everynight we would talked over the phone all the things we felt...
sec3 : things started to get bitter between us... small quarrels between dev n zhi occured... yet , i dun feel right to side wif either party...
sec4 : N lvl year... time to treat life seriously...became more mature and the bonding between us grew stronger... i believed in enternal friendship... they were there when i n kuan meng broke up [the most difficlut parting i ever had...]
sec5 : dev no longer same sch as us... zhi became closer to esuko n yin fen... felt hurt n aLone... she was never happy wif all the decisions i made... always show this attitude whenever i was disagreed wif her opinion... yet i din turn to dev cos i dun think it is right to juz turn to her juz cos zhi dun have time for mI... i believed it will all end after sec sch... dev run away from her hse... zhi n I stayed up till 3 am to look for her in Ghim Moh...
poly : new enviroment, new frenz, new thinkings [if there's such pharse]... tot i can forget the past n move on like nth happened... things remain unchange... zhi felt more comfortable wif yin fen den being wif us... my heart still felt the pain... decided to talk to her n tell her about how i feel in some areas... hoping she would understand mi a little bit better... n when she saw wht was in my blog she freak out... she said i wrote wat was not true... but this is how i feel... can u reali help it about wat u feel ? she called up dev n tell her wat happened... dev called mi up n scolded mi cos peizhi was crying... i was on my way up to class from canteen wif dee n group and there i was crying so badly yet dev din seem to notice tht... i din tell her i was crying too as i dun wan anyone empathy... *no offence again... * and i realised tht all the best frenz i tot i have were actually din seem to care how i feel at all...
i let myself N the girls to cool down... i m almost given up this friendship thing... i felt i cant let go... n is i do i m afraid i might regret later... i decided to called them up see how they feel... like wat dev said "no matter how much u pretend there will always b the broken lines between us..." true... n today it seem it can never b mend again... well, now i feel much better... at least i tried to save my friendship... the result come out not to my expectation but i somehow feel lighter...
P.S > Up To This Day, I Do Not Feel I Should B the One Saying Sorry ...
06 February 2006
wat happened when ppl get depression yet they dunno themselve ? i guess they will start to avoid areas tht r veri crowded and they started to feel tht they dun somehow belong to this wonderful world and r mostly will have veri low-esteem... i knoe someone wif such behaviour and i dun wanna mantion who juz to prptect her/his privacy... felt sad for tht person... haix...
talked to deivani the other day... alrite larh... mayb we talked so normal juz to make sure the other party wun feel awkard bahx... still felt this gap between us though...
wat have i done today ?
-checklists
>was woken up by FiLamin sms early in the morning arnd 5am? ... pls larh
>woke up by the help of my trusty alarm at 6 45...
>went school wif this stuck-up face n saw Michelle on the way...
>enterprise was fun though... i was same group as Josephine worx... wah finally !
>went orchard yet again to eat together wif joel and josephine... kana suan by them all the way ! humphf
>and now eating pizzahut... hah hah
>oh shet... haven do my RJ...
ok... enuff of crapping here... buaiz
Mr H.C = my bf (his name Hong Chuan wah)
04 February 2006
ytd sleep at 5 am and was awaken up by Mr H.C sms... hah hah... reply him when i m still sho sleepy n blur... fall asleep back later on... finally now i m awake ! hah... now i m like sms-ing to Mr H.C larh... he is working n still can disturb him... hah hah hah
funny lorh... now a days have no idea wat kind of dreamz i m having... like today i dreamt of my aunty's husband's mother... any linkage ? dun think so bahx...
suddenly, ytd many of my gmss frenz come n find mi online nia... yoke siang came n add mi on msn... peizhi gave him my add... den we were like crapping all the way till he suddenly ask mi to put the pic i took alone one... i put the candid shot one larh... den he was like wow! u changed a lot! n prettier... n i was like i'm naturally pretty de nor... hahaa... actually, i was like looking for his hp no recently... suddenly he came n add mi... wat a coincidence... heh... anyway, through his help i got qing ji msn n alvan... alvan is ok larh... cos i always see him on friendster... for qing ji he is currently studying in ngee ann... a lot of ppl tt i knoe is from there... they jio mi go over one day n chit chat... yea rite.... lemme count how many gmss ppl r at ngee ann...
siew yen, jolene, shuilin, qing ji, alvan, kai wei... all from my batch/my classmates... still got some but forgot their names... cindy, jess, jasmine they all also at ngee ann lorhx... my god-sis... lolx... should reali go over there one day n go find them... hah !
my new skin... quite plain ba... but juz feel like putting it... i m like trying to put the pictures here... but having trouble doing so... shall update soon...
Love mean being stupid together
valentine's date of mine...
03 February 2006
well... valentine's day will b here in coming week and i ,for this yr, have a actual date... *shake head* not as if i dun have one last yr... got lorh... wif FiLamin(my ex)... anyway, this yr we were like thinking wat should we do since most of the cinemas will b full of ppl... still couldn't decide on it... hur hur hur... (pathetic couple huh) ... the worst thing is on V.day we will b having school ! N i will b like finishing at 4 plus when he will b finishing at 5... his sch is near my hse while my sch is near his ! (another cute lil thing about us...) ... he suggested a couple ring ... *serious face* not a bad idea actually...
for today ... erm... lets see wat had i done so far...
^went to his hse instead of my school early in the morning^
^on the way smoke 1 stick after drinking milo(N it suck)^
^quarrelled wif him for dunno wat matter^
^went down coffee-shop ate bah ku teh n home-made barley [he said it is GOOD 4 health]^
^come back wif him till Clementi^
^on the way smoke again^
^reached home den fall asleep^
^woke up at 8pm den straight-away on my com^
^now i m like freaking craaping on my blog^
morale of the story ?
DUN SMOKE AFTER DRINKING MILO !
it was horrible taste in the mouth i tell u... omg...
anyway, i talked to peizhi the other day... N i was still at lost... cos one minute she say things like it is veri hard 4 her to forget our friendship n stuffs and the next minute when i saw her at the school bus-stop on the same day she din even look at mi... *shrug*
02 February 2006
in school liao lo... damn early nia... ytd go out wif josephine den bought this small little baby shoe... so cute larh... N it is red... dear N I will juz share lo... it is sho cute larh... can put as a hp pouch as well....
argh... computing arh !!! if knoe earlier wun come sch liao nor... tot 2day is enterprise larh... maths again... gonna bored to death!!
01 February 2006
i m like so bored larh... juz come back from bugis wif jasmine n alicia lo... quite tired lo... go shopping... n took number of neoprint... we like 3 mad girl like tht lo... keep taking neoprint from one machine to another larh... hur hur hur
Valentine day coming liao... wat should i give him ? i wan give him the paper star de initially... but since he got it from his ex liao den nvm ba... give him other things... or should we juz go make a couple ring ? he said he also was thinking of doing so...
wah sian... school reopening in 2 days time... haix... i reali no mood 2 go school lo...